I’ve been thinking a lot lately about social media and the effect that it has on all of us. It seems that nowadays we feel the need to compare our lives and experiences with others and to always present ourselves as being perfect. We delete photos until we get to the one that we like the most, we post on Facebook or Twitter when we are looking good, having fun, achieving things. We present our showreel and edit out the bloopers. I’m as guilty as anyone. I have gone for long periods of time not even speaking to my friends and family when I have felt really bad but then when that passed, as it inevitably does, when I had a smile back on my face and a twinkle in my eye, I couldn’t wait to see people. The spread of social media in recent years has made us all unwitting publicists and marketers of our own lives and when we do express more honest, real feelings and experiences, we are opening ourselves to harsh, often anonymous, criticism. This is something that my husband warned me about when I started this blog. I wanted to be honest and open about myself and my life but I have been known to be a sensitive little sausage at times. I have been extremely fortunate so far in the responses I have received but I am realistic about the fact that not everyone will agree with what I have to say, or think that I say it well.
Life has been kind to me of late but nothing is perfect, there are days when you feel like singing and days when you feel like screaming. This week I have not been my best self. I have struggled to deal with everyday life and have let my health slide a little. The fact is that none of us are free of the stresses and strains of work, relationships, money, family, life. At the start of the week I booked in to three WOD classes and every night I cancelled them because I was at work, travelling back from work or just too shattered after work to face it. Even though I know that I will feel better if I go, even though I know that I will have more energy, that life will be simply better if I just go, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Something I’ve noticed a lot with the kids I work with is they are afraid of making mistakes, and if they do they want all evidence of it to be taken away. If they mess up a word on a page they want a new sheet, they want to be able to start again. I used to be like that too, for a long time I would only write in pencil so that I could erase my mistakes without anyone knowing they had happened. Something that I have learned more recently in my life is that rather than judging you and criticising you for mistakes you make, people actually feel relieved that they are not alone. They read that you have made a complete twat of yourself and they think ‘thank god for that! I thought I was the only one!’ We are all just humans doing the best we can and making mistakes as we go. The only thing that you can do is think of the big picture and remind yourself of where you have come from, where you are going and where you are right now. This week I only made it to the box twice and that is less than ideal, but I am still on the path I want to be on, heading to the place I want to be, just taking slightly slower steps.
In the spirit of honesty here is a picture of me looking extremely hot and sweaty mid WOD compared to a professional photograph with full makeup, hair and photoshop!
One of my CrossFit heroes is Chris Spealler and I love him all the more for posting his missed lift attempts to Instagram.