Easter: a time for new life and transformation

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This has been an egg-stremely busy week for me (sorry).  I was kind of dreading the holidays because with my husband gone it could have been a very sad and lonely time for me but I made sure that I kept myself really busy and it has been loads of fun.  We have been blessed with beautiful weather (until yesterday when all the rain came down in one go.  I got very wet) and I have even got a bit of a tan, which never happens.

A few things have happened over the last week that I want to share.

  • I stopped taking my medication.  For a very large part of my adult life I have been taking medication for depression and anxiety.  I don’t think I should feel ashamed to admit that.  It has helped me enormously to have a life that I can cope with.  It has enabled me to sleep at night, to get up every day and go to work, to function as a ‘normal’ human being.  The reason that I decided to come off of my medication was because when my husband left and went to the other side of the world for over a year, I didn’t feel anything.  I was sad and I missed him but I felt separated from my emotions in a way that I did not appreciate.  When I stopped taking them a few things happened.  First of all I felt really dizzy for a while, which was not entirely pleasant.  Then I started to cry A LOT!  Then I found an enormous pool of energy that had obviously been bottled up inside of me.  With this enormous pool of energy I did a few things.
  •  I got all of my hair chopped off!  I had very, very long curly hair and I just went to the hairdressers and got it all chopped off and it feels great.  I love it and I love being able to wash and dry my hair in about 5 minutes after I have been to the box.
  • I was barely able to sit down.  I have always thought of myself as quite a lazy person.  I know I work out and do CrossFit but apart from that I have never had a great deal of motivation to actually move.  This week I have been unable to sit still for any length of time.  I have been cycling, walking a variety of dogs and WODing and I have loved it.  One of the trainers at the box said I look about ten years younger and although I know he is just being sweet, I feel it.  It feels great.

hair                                                                          photo (1)

  • I have been creating.  A few years ago (the last time I was off my medication) I wrote a book.  After a few half hearted attempts to get it published I hid it away and forgot about it.  This week I have dusted it off and in the moments when I can sit still I have been working on it.  I have also struck a deal with an enormously talented writer who also happens to be a good friend, William Xavier Lavendar (amazing name right?) to design the art for the cover of my book, which I have decided to publish as an e book.  I would be extremely grateful if you would take a few minutes to answer the 10 questions on e books in this survey.
  • My interview with Michaela Breeze MBE was published on boxrox.com.  I did the interview a while ago but I am very excited and pleased to see it on their website.

michaela snatch

  • Finally, and most importantly, I have made a decision that life is too short not to be with the one you love and I have decided that at the end of the academic year I will be leaving Hove and heading off to Ecuador to be with my husband.  This has been a huge decision because I love the life we have made for ourselves here but a few things have happened lately that have really made me realise that this life that we have is precious and beautiful.  Did you see the article that was doing the rounds of social media a few months ago The top 5 regrets of the dying?  What would your biggest regret be if this was the last day of your life?  Mine would be that I was thousands of miles away from the man I love and, when I really stopped to question why, I didn’t have a good enough answer.  The only real answers were ones based in fear.  Fear of the future, of being poor, of losing potential maternity benefits, of not being at the right place in my life in direct correlation to my age.  I am nearly 36 and I don’t have any children, I don’t own a car, I don’t have a mortgage, I don’t have financial security, savings or investments.  All of those things scare me because I feel as though I’m being left behind.  What scares me more is living the rest of my life making sensible decisions that don’t make me happy.  So that is it, I’m off.  I am so nervous and excited and I really hope that one day, if and when we have children, we are able to give them something far more important than money; two parents that love and adore them and each other and who have lived a life of excitement and adventure.

At the end of all of that, my health challenge statistics are not keeping pace I’m afraid!

Weight: 65.7 kilograms/ 10 stone 3 and a half pounds

Body fat percentage: 34.2%

BMI: 27.2

Dress size: 12/14

Bust Size: 34 DD

Waist measurement: 82.55 centimeters/ 32.5 inches

Height: 154.94 centimeters/ 5 foot 1 inch

The results are less than spectacular but I’m not worrying about it for a few reasons:

1.  I know that I have exercised my little butt off this week.  My body has ached so much that at times I have barely been able to move and I know that I am making healthy choices.

2.  I have managed to get through one of the most tricky holidays and have not deviated from the paleo plan.  I may have over indulged in a few dates and prunes but I know that I have kept my eye on the prize and I am proud of myself.

3.  I feel really good.  I am less bloated, I have more energy and I don’t need the number on a scale to tell me how to feel about myself.

4.  Anyone who has ever watched (been addicted to) The Biggest Loser knows that week 2 is tough!

So there it is, what is Easter if not a time for new life and transformation!  Happy Easter to everyone.

Thanks for reading, I’m now blogging over at joskibyrne.wordpress.com come and join me!

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4 thoughts on “Easter: a time for new life and transformation

  1. My turn to have a little cry. I for one think you have made the right decision. Will miss you but it will probably be easier than seeing how much you are missing your man Xxxx

  2. You may not have all those materialistic things but you do have amazing memories of places that most people can only dream of visiting and are now about to embark on making some more. You are and always be a fantastic woman only you need to get to grips with that. xxxxxxxxxxx your an inspiration and definitely my hero xx

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